This
is an old posting, but it occurs to me to elaborate on a point or
two. What I described in one part there, is what is commonly
referred to – though the term didn't cross my mind and I prefer it
that way – as The Butterfly Effect, for whatever reason. Two (or
more) strangers get up one morning, go about their day, and like some
unseen orchestration of events full of "chance" factors and detours, wending
their way in a process which comes to a head when one loses control
of the wheel, let's say (why, is far less relevant here)
inadvertantly causing, or even – as in the third example given
below – intentionally causing a collision, with our without
injuries, fatalities, but certainly leaving havoc and wreckage in its
wake.
I
was sitting parked in a company car late one evening in September, I
might have taken off back to the office but stayed for a few minutes
to go over my mileage, driver's door partly open to keep the light
on. The street is long, straight and boring, young idiots are known
to race their cars down it for shits-and-grins, doing what we'd call
90 or more. One such idiot zoomed right by me, in the opposite
direction, passing me as I mused, "Schmuck – you'll get yours". No
sooner had the thought entered my head, it was interrupted by him
veering left a mere couple yards behind me and slamming into some
five unoccupied parked cars, totalling his and these. That it turned
out he was 17, had stolen Grampa's car, possessed no license, and
was stoned out of his mind – and fled the scene – is irrelevant
to my point, just more "chance" factors for The Butterfly. The demolition was
so forceful, had he veered one second earlier, that month would have
carried my obit. Had I just left when I'd gotten into my car, I'd
have missed the whole affair.
Yesterday
a co-worker of mine had just finished a morning shift, and was parked
in her own car just down the cute, quiet, narrow street somewhat
behind our workplace. A 68-year-old guy in a jeep, driving at a
normal pace within that little street's allowed limit, suddenly
suffered a heart attack at the wheel. Bummer. But he rammed right
into the back end of my co-worker's car, totalling both that and the
jeep. That she is fortunately at home recuperating from crash-trauma
but presumably no serious injuries, and he was resuscitated by
paramedics and hospitalized – is likewise irrelevant to my point,
just more "chance" factors for The Butterfly.
On
December 19, 2016, a semi truck driven by an Islamic terrorist who'd
murdered the actual polish truck driver found afterward on the
passenger side, veered into a crowd of Christmas shoppers, Berliners
and out-of-towners, visitors from all over, resulting in 12
fatalities, a number of injured, and a whole lot of trauma. That he
was part of Merkel's Grand Plan, was courted all along by Homeland
Security, in concert with some 60 agencies all of whose sole job
specifically deals with policing crime and ensuring security, and
that the matter was granted the usual Merkellian gaslighting
procedure of instrumentalizing, excusing, denying, and then ignoring
the drastic and urgent need by the public to see a take-charge
attitude of clarification, responsibility, pro-active prevention, and
of course finally secure borders and controlled Muslim immigration or
an end to it altogether – are also irrelevant right here only as
(admittedly less than "chance") factors for Madame Butterfly.
The
point here is that you cannot know when something is about to occur
in your own personal sphere during your own day. You cannot be
smarter, wiser, fatalistic, non-fatalistic, go out in groups, go out
alone, stay indoors, never drive, drive more safely, be a better
person, don't change anything – and make a difference in whether
you may be parked where I was or parked where my co-worker was, or
using a public facility or visiting a Christmas market. None of
these will make you less vulnerable or less mortal, or less a part
of this Butterfly thing.
What
will however make a certain difference because of its dimension in
your own life, is to get very consciously appreciative of your own
life and living, at every moment – a relaxed concentration on your
own love of living, of being alive, of being grateful for every day
you are here in this body, for every breath you draw, before it
should be taken from you. Not after. In the most humble tone of
gratitude for being here, for living: live your joy, express it.
Gratitude gives latitude, when attitude opens you to a certain very
present grace, here – and now. What does that get you? It will
make you more aware.
It
will make you more aware in a dimension which only deepens with
practice, deepens with time, consonant with time and effects and "chance" factors. And if it is, as one says, your time to
go – you go with an awareness which makes all the difference in the
world. Without this awareness, this simple, quiet awe of living,
your coming or going or staying or leaving remain feeling irrelevant,
meaningless, mere factors for that Butterfly.
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