The Invincible Woman internalized

(from "Notes From The Underground," Berlin 1998-9)


The Invincible Woman  in me whispers, and her whisper is as a light afternoon shower brushing the autumn leaves, or a gentle constant breeze snapping tightly against the ear in Longs Peak's boulderfield, or the steady fragrant current of a Rocky Mountain canyon stream - and she tells me:

"Seek me not outside yourself, neither in Aphrodite nor in Athena, nor Diana nor Hera nor Demeter.  For I indeed am all of these and I am none of them.  As each of these you have found me, recognized and celebrated me.  Now find me as none of these, find me in my essential form, invincible, and inside of your own maleness.  You have to surrender all of these forms so dear to you, develop your male form so it can sustain the discovery in relationship to me as I Am in you.  Let us not speak now of Mother or Dakini or Goddess, I am the Invincible Woman.  Then I can reveal myself to you in consciousness and the fulfillment of polarity.  Then will all Womankind be further blessed.  Then will all women everywhere find and assert their inborn sovereign dignity and power, their inborn sovereign confidence and grace.  This is a very great Seva.  Do this for me, don't put it off any longer."

She must be met in the belly, at the navel, then in the heart, and in one's very marrow.  All forms of her, all images of her manifestation, while ever sacred, must be surrendered into the belly's inner furnace, and surrendered once and for all.  The only way to fulfillment of that longing is to know her as Self and nothing other than Self.  This is love.  All one's seminal juices must be firmly directed there.  She alone and not her images may exist at that place.  One suspects very strongly, one is convinced, that to merge with the Invincible Woman inside, is to never again carry fear or loneliness, never again self-pity. . . . No fear of control by the female erotic power and therefore, having first known and honored it intimately, no succumbing to it.  One is free who belongs to that Invincible Woman inside.  No fear toward control by the male brute-power and therefore no intimidation from it.  One can afford to be open and disarming, who lives with the Invincible Woman inside.  She can take one apart and guide one toward real union.

. . . (against ingratiating weakness of resolve and likewise anger or aggression) the Invincible Woman will clear one of all this.  She will preserve one's sincerity, restore one's dignity, increase one's faith, and make one fearless in all situations.  And if she does this for the man in whom she dwells awake and in full liberty, imagine what she does for the woman in whom she is awakened!

This transformative experience, while set to writing, can hardly be spoken about without losing something of it. It actually refers back to the early adolescent Woods-Dream, the "Dakinis in the Cellar" - and the promise it held out to the dreamer.

http://samuelinayatchisti.blogspot.de/2011/08/dakinis-in-cellar.html

Reflections On Woman

When a woman smiles

              if she can smile the genuine smile   that is a woman's,

                                              she is relaxed;     relaxed she is opened.

Open as she is,

             her grace as a woman comes through

                                             and she is a blessing on this planet.

I salute her,

            I wash my face in that grace and drink it

                                             bellyfull

                                                                 intently.

I've come to restore that smile.

(Monterey, 1986)

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 (The following are exerpts from an entry in an extensive notebook I’d kept over a two year period (1998-9) here in Berlin, with occasional additions made into the 2000s:)

…The wild erotic energy radiating from its female form is full-fleshed, generously-haired, musky and mature, and not without subtlety.
By full-fleshed is merely meant, that the entire span of her corporeal body communicates a hearty welcome to life-radiance at the erotic level.
By generously-haired is meant, she is not bound to male dictates of artificial beauty.
By musky and mature are meant, her own-scented fragrance and earthy experience are her jewels and likewise independent of controlling-male notions toward hygienically sterile bodies robbed of their history and wild heritage.
By subtle is meant, even if the personality were somewhat crude or asleep, the energy is certainly awake, and for those who will encounter and acknowledge it with an attitude of respect and meet it with the proper degree of energy, it is as benevolent as it is wild. …

You there, with that nose of yours,
that longish, elegantly erotic nose you hate;
you with your 'not quite symmetrical' face, don't you know:
that very jawline which shames you delights me?
Quit feeling 'fat' - define your standard, who told you that?
Stop chasing warts, leave them;
if your body-tatoos can be so alluring, why can't a mole?
Are your breasts still 'inadequate' - or overmuch . . . but
look at your thighs, what form they give you!
Think of Aphrodite, not Claudia or Naomi!  Erotic, not neurotic!
Go neither obese, nor half-starved to please; shave nothing, smell enticing!
Stop cursing your buttocks, think classic, not anorexic!
Breathe in your own inner aroma, let it wend its way in and out unimpeded,
brightening your woman-face, your sensual sensuous body, restoring health -
or haven't you suffered enough sickness over false self-image?
When you speak against your own beauty, when you deny it,
you speak against me, you deny me - for I,
I am full of your beauty, and cannot get enough of it.