My Afterlife

Okay, so the way I view The Afterlife goes sort of as follows: "Heaven" is a retirement home for the pious, where they can be served cocktails and energy drinks and play shuffle-board and shoot the shit. "Hell" is where you find slaughterers of families for religion's sake and folks who've stoned women and beheaded children.

Then my number comes up and I'm asked, "Did you practice your Faith?" Come what may, I'll answer yes. For which I'll get a knuckle-rub on my scalp and asked what I want, at which juncture I'll take a pass on heaven, and request that I be suited up with fresh juice and a song in my heart - no halos - and sent back to work wherever They find most suitable.

When asked why, I'll say, "Lord, I just want to be where you'll make best use of me. If there's something to 'get' I want everyone to 'get it' before I'm done." The Lord grins and gives me a dutch rub and a kick in the seat, on to my next assignment.   . . .

Or, it could all look different than this of course, and I'll just have to wait to find out after I've passed the 150 mark after all.